Annoying as arguing is, most children tend to be “argumentative” and although improving their negotiation will be useful for their future, we should avoid creating ‘negotiators’ as they will wear us down! The trick to diffusing an argument is to stop ourselves from getting sucked into it.

Here is a sample of some of our easy and effective tools for solving this issue

This works really well:

DIFFUSE WHINING AND ARGUING:

• When our children start arguing, we can simply respond by repeating a sympathetic or empathic statement, (or even just a word). That way we don’t need to raise our voices, use sarcasm or enter in to an argument!
• For example: say to your child as soon as s/he starts arguing about something: “I know” or “I heard you” or simply ”Ohhhh”
• It may take quite a few repetitions, but your child will begin to understand that although you are not without sympathy, you will not be ‘giving in, negotiating or getting drawn into an argument.
• This tool will prevent you from being emotionally “sucked in” by your child’s reactions. It may frustrate your child to begin with but s/he will soon accept that there’s no point in ‘carrying on’ because  you won’t be drawn in.

Here is another suggestion:

GIVE A CHOICE:

• Allowing our children to choose between two options that suit us, gives them the pleasure of being able to make a decision.
• Eg. Ask your child “Would you like to leave the park now or in five minutes?”
• Offering choices tends to distract and empower children, reducing their need to argue.

These are just a few examples of our Best of Parenting Tools. You can find more ideas and solutions to typical parenting challenges in our book ‘Kids Don’t Come With a Manual – The Essential Guide to a Happy Family Life‘.